Nothing of Note

Its been a slow weekend in terms of getting work done and visiting fun slash exciting places, but there's been a lot on my mind.

The thing thats been pressing on me the most is disassembling our apartment. The time has come to sell or give away of all of our furniture and housewares. The stressful thing is not that I'm having trouble getting rid of it all--quite the opposite, actually. People have had their eye on our beds, couches, shelves, rugs, even silverware since I first moved in apparently. These days I find myself in a constant neediness tug-o-war about "who should get my bed" or "who deserves our shelf more." Everyone--and I mean EVERYONE--wants or needs something, and they're all extremely vocal about it to a point that makes me incredibly uncomfortable. Our housekeeper, the guards downstairs, the women at the NJ office, even our tailor asks me what I'm going to do with my bed or some other piece of furniture. If I say its already been given away or sold, they ask "who? when?" and then proceed to tell me why they need it more than that person. I want to give with an open heart, but its hard to feel generous when you're being pressured so much.

Its hard to come and work in a developing country and explain that while you want to help, your idea of "helping" is a bit more long term than "give me all your socks." Sigh. What do I do?

TKP

p.s.--Don't worry Mom, I'm not frivolously giving stuff away. I actually sold a bunch of it and got the money I paid for it money back.