The evil smurfs under my bed

My friend Susan's older brother John once told her that there was a colony of evil smurfs dwelling beneath her bed, and that if she stuck a hand, foot, or other appendage down there it would be brutally devoured. Susan still gets the creeps when anyone sings the Smurfs theme song. La, La, La-la-la-la, La, La-la-la-la...

Anyway, I think that these beings have migrated across New England and set up camp right underneath MY bed. I've been losing strange things in my room left and right. I attribute the mysterious dissappearance of my gold hoop earring, favorite denim skirt, and most recently (and frustratingly) my Michigan Drivers' license to these pests. I just don't understand it. Admittedly my track record on holding on to my personal effects is less than impressive, but seriously...I've never "misplaced" so much stuff in such a short period of time in my life. I'm going out of my MIND!!!!!!!!!

*Sigh* Must go finish a paper for Tuesday, then go purchase some extra-strength Smurficide...

TKP