Football-Elvis-Kids

It is becoming increasingly clear to me that my parents are beginning to mentally "edit" their conversations with me in fear that some embarrassing tidbit might end up on the world wide web. Well, I would just like to reassure them that YOU'RE DAMN SKIPPY I'm going to post that stuff online. Mom and Dad, you two are hilarious. I'm sorry, but the best part about living at home is not the hundreds I save on rent each month, but the endless material. If I were a stand up comic for a living, my parents would be a virtual goldmine. The quotes from this week alone are enough for an hour-long stand up special.

Exempli gratia: During the NFL season opener today, I jokingly questioned our household's long-standing loyalty to the Detroit Lions. My Dad looked at me in both anger and disbelief, reminding me that not only were we Michigan residents, but that Michigan was my birthplace. I felt the way a preacher's daughter might were she to invoke Nietzsche and poo-poo God's existence at Christmas dinner. Dad then explained to me that for 30 years, football had been very "near and dear to my heart," and that the other two things that were such were "Elvis and...the kids."

I can only hope that Dad threw these things out in no particular rank order, but if he did, I'm just glad to have earned a spot above the karaoke machine.