Boo-hoo

I found out yesterday, as did my friend Jacob, that I didn't receive the Boren fellowship. Guess I'll be in exotic Worcester, MA next year rather than dull-old Chiang Mai. Anyway, Jacob decided that he wouldn't take it lying down and drafted a bold counter-rejection letter. I had to share it with you all...

A Rejection Letter

To Whom it May Concern,

Thank you for your letter of April 24. After careful consideration, I
regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me a
Boren fellowship.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually
large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field
of candidates it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite the NSEP's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in
rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at
this time. Therefore, I will assume the position of researcher in Luang
Prabang this August. I look forward to working with you again in the
future.

Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

Sincerely,

Jacob Kasell