Apples and Pears

The carbs are stacked against me.
Me and all you other 'apple-shaped' people out there.

I hate to get all Bridget Jones' Diary on everyone, but let me take a moment to complain about my weight and its fate. Last week, my cousin--who is a doctor at the Center for Disease Control in Atlanta--clued me in on a recent study published in JAMA (The Journal of the American Medical Association). Doctor types cherish the words of JAMA like college girls cherish Cosmo.

Anyway, the study basically reveals that people who gain weight around their middle sections (the so-called 'apple shape') have a more difficult time losing weight on low-fat diets and are at a far greater risk for heart disease than folks who pack pounds on their hips and bum (euphemismically known as the 'pear shape'). For we of the apple persuasion, simple carbohydrates are, as my mother might say, "the real killer." Cookies are explictly named as a carb culprit. I almost had to stop reading when I saw that.

Sure, I am slowly getting over a purely aesthetic obsession with body weight. I recognize the unrealistic body standards that we as media consumers are constantly fed impact all of our self-concepts negatively. I was finally making some peace with my rotundness before the words "heart disease" entered the picture.

It was like an insurgency attack in the War on Chub. My chocolatey, cream-filled quagmire.

Better get my apple-shaped arse back on the treadmill...